Sorry im guilty of doing it again, i make these resolutions and i never stick to them. However i am going to try again...i have had alot on my plate lately so i think i can be excused!
I finally got an appointment at the hospital to look at my overall health which could be affecting my ability to remain pregnant!!!
It amazes me that anyone gets pregnant at all really when you look at what has to happen, in certain conditions and remain that way for 9 months protecting youre baby.....anyway im being tested for thyroid problems. My hormone levels are being checked as are my anti bodies and anticoagulant levels. Plus my chromosomes just in case anything genetically is causing a problem. I am certainly getting my moneys worth out of the NHS!!!!!! Mind you they did take 10 Vials of my blood yesterday!!!!!
Other than health problems i have had to resign myself to the fact that my little boy is growing up....he was 3 last week and he has started playschool which is actually heartbreaking!!!! Aslong as he doesnt come back with knowledge of some of the choice words parents seem to teach their kids i should be fine, but its all going to quick for my liking!!!!!
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Crikey!!!
As you may have gathered i have had a few other things on my plate of late and have not made it to the computer!!!
Me, my hubby and our little boy went on holiday which was wonderful, only to come back to this rainy rotten country with nothing to look forward to until we go to see Coldplay of course!!! However the day we came back from holiday i discovered that i was indeed pregnant!!!
We were absolutely over the moon, as we hadnt been trying and we have suffered two miscarriages in a year already. I was booked in for an early scan due to my past and it reavealed a healthy little bean which was 3mm in length and had a beating heart.
I stupidly was lead into a false sense of security and although i was nervous i began to think that maybe this was our time.
It wasnt to be, as i had a scan two weeeks later that revealed the baby had indeed died at 8 weeks. So off i trotted to hospital again and had another ERPC. Although i hate that term!!!!!Its so general and so impersonal.
So i am awaiting tests to see what is wrong with me...i state here and now i think its my hormones....i have been telling the Drs that for months now, but woe betide me a stupid patient trying to tell a Doctor what to do!!!!!
Anyway im making a point of trying to write again so i forewarn you some days maybe angry writing and other days maybe depressed writing but whatever it is its just the way im feeling.....its the truth!!!!
Me, my hubby and our little boy went on holiday which was wonderful, only to come back to this rainy rotten country with nothing to look forward to until we go to see Coldplay of course!!! However the day we came back from holiday i discovered that i was indeed pregnant!!!
We were absolutely over the moon, as we hadnt been trying and we have suffered two miscarriages in a year already. I was booked in for an early scan due to my past and it reavealed a healthy little bean which was 3mm in length and had a beating heart.
I stupidly was lead into a false sense of security and although i was nervous i began to think that maybe this was our time.
It wasnt to be, as i had a scan two weeeks later that revealed the baby had indeed died at 8 weeks. So off i trotted to hospital again and had another ERPC. Although i hate that term!!!!!Its so general and so impersonal.
So i am awaiting tests to see what is wrong with me...i state here and now i think its my hormones....i have been telling the Drs that for months now, but woe betide me a stupid patient trying to tell a Doctor what to do!!!!!
Anyway im making a point of trying to write again so i forewarn you some days maybe angry writing and other days maybe depressed writing but whatever it is its just the way im feeling.....its the truth!!!!
Friday, 29 May 2009
Its not like Peak practice!
Well im going to have a moan about the bloody NHS this morning, i could go on for days about the amount of mistakes the so called qualified Drs have made in my lifetime, but since i dont have that amount of time i will just winge about them for a little bit!
I cant get in for an appointment again this morning, so instead im waiting for a call from them instead....which is great as i told the receptionist that the Dr asked me to come in again to test a urine sample so she said they would ring me.....how exactly they have managed to develope a system to test urine over the phone i dont know! Not only that but i know the Dr that is ringing me is absolutely useless! What happened to the Drs that knew their patients from birth and actually was in the profession to help people not ship them out as quick as they could so there statistics on the computer were right at the end of the day. I remember my mum watching a programme called Peak Practice when i was little and i do not recall a Dr ever being like them...i mean imagine a Dr actually phoning you to see if you are ok off their own back, or worrying about your case in their own spare time!!!!! How absurd, surely they are not paid enough for that extra concern!!!!
Anyway i will await this call with baited breath and i bet you i will be no better off by the time im finished!!!!
Rant over....for now!!!!
I cant get in for an appointment again this morning, so instead im waiting for a call from them instead....which is great as i told the receptionist that the Dr asked me to come in again to test a urine sample so she said they would ring me.....how exactly they have managed to develope a system to test urine over the phone i dont know! Not only that but i know the Dr that is ringing me is absolutely useless! What happened to the Drs that knew their patients from birth and actually was in the profession to help people not ship them out as quick as they could so there statistics on the computer were right at the end of the day. I remember my mum watching a programme called Peak Practice when i was little and i do not recall a Dr ever being like them...i mean imagine a Dr actually phoning you to see if you are ok off their own back, or worrying about your case in their own spare time!!!!! How absurd, surely they are not paid enough for that extra concern!!!!
Anyway i will await this call with baited breath and i bet you i will be no better off by the time im finished!!!!
Rant over....for now!!!!
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
The nicotine fairy!
Well im not proud, but for the last past few days i have been entertaining the nicotine fairy, i would like to say i didnt enjoy it....but i would lying. Its so hard staying away from cigarettes especially during beer garden weather, a shandy and a ciggy go together like Crackers and Cheese! Plus i have found that weirdly since i quit smoking a while ago my health has actually gone downhill. So now i have a choice to make, do i smoke on holiday, or will that lead me down the slippery slope, back to full time smoker, full time skint!
In fairness i did smoke as i was feeling down, not an excuse but there you have it. After suffering another Miscarriage last week i felt that being healthy obviously wasnt working out for me, but i think i was just being pessimistic. But then thats me, call me Victor Meldrew!
In fairness i did smoke as i was feeling down, not an excuse but there you have it. After suffering another Miscarriage last week i felt that being healthy obviously wasnt working out for me, but i think i was just being pessimistic. But then thats me, call me Victor Meldrew!
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Happy Hormonal day to you to!
Well, i have stayed away for the past few days due to some rioting hormones trying to make me do and say stuff i dont normally like to do!!!! Thats my excuse and im sticking to it, i cant control it, its like some psycotic rage overtakes me and suddenly i am the HULK, only worse!!!!
I feel sorry for poor Harvey the most who takes the brunt of it! But im over the worst of it now and most of my friends and family have come out of their hiding place, making sure they can get there quickly for the next batch of hormones!!!!!
So thats me for the minute ill be back later no doubt as im having guests this afternoon and they will no doubt give me something to complain....i mean write about! Ha..!
I feel sorry for poor Harvey the most who takes the brunt of it! But im over the worst of it now and most of my friends and family have come out of their hiding place, making sure they can get there quickly for the next batch of hormones!!!!!
So thats me for the minute ill be back later no doubt as im having guests this afternoon and they will no doubt give me something to complain....i mean write about! Ha..!
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Should i care?
Ive seen super nanny thousands of time and she makes it all look so easy. But my little boy has other ideas! The naughty step is hilarious to him and he will not give up crying at bedtimes, so i get him to sleep the way i have done since he was born......which is lay next to him and sing to him.....shocking i know!!!.....and he goes off like a dream(Until a little later in the night, but thats a different problem)
What gets me is that my friends seem to have the perfect children that miraculously go to bed at seven and sleep all the way through in their own bed....and they even eat fruit!!!!!! So yet again i am made to feel like the useless mother is indulging their child. But am i in the wrong? Should i force my child to cry for an hour or two just so that he goes to bed when i want him to, surely i have decided to have children and therefore luxuries such as watching a tv programme all the way to the end go out the window! Harvey will only be little for a insignificant period of his life...soon he wont want me to lay next to him and cuddle him.....so surely i should be satisfied with the fact that he is fine, he has enough sleep, he is gradually learning to sleep on his own and probably sooner or later he will eat fruit and veg...i did! I should make the most of the time that we get to spend together....as long as i dont turn him into a spoilt brat!
So i have decided that i will not be forced by this nanny culture to raise my child a set way, ill raise him how i think is best, after all i think i know him better than Jo Frost!
What gets me is that my friends seem to have the perfect children that miraculously go to bed at seven and sleep all the way through in their own bed....and they even eat fruit!!!!!! So yet again i am made to feel like the useless mother is indulging their child. But am i in the wrong? Should i force my child to cry for an hour or two just so that he goes to bed when i want him to, surely i have decided to have children and therefore luxuries such as watching a tv programme all the way to the end go out the window! Harvey will only be little for a insignificant period of his life...soon he wont want me to lay next to him and cuddle him.....so surely i should be satisfied with the fact that he is fine, he has enough sleep, he is gradually learning to sleep on his own and probably sooner or later he will eat fruit and veg...i did! I should make the most of the time that we get to spend together....as long as i dont turn him into a spoilt brat!
So i have decided that i will not be forced by this nanny culture to raise my child a set way, ill raise him how i think is best, after all i think i know him better than Jo Frost!
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Truly Awful Day!!!
Well I did have good intentions of coming on here everyday to do a bit of writing, but it appears my 2 year old had other ideas! The terrible twos have set in, its my fault, i said he was not a terrible two year old….i brought it on myself! Temper tantrums and a living room floor covered in scrambled egg just about pushed my patience to the very edge, but after twos day of sleep and a few glasses of wine i have recovered, Plus my normal little boy is back……though for how long i dare not say!!
Im still debating whether to do my creative writing course, dont get me wrong i love learning and studying, but i want to make sure that it is what i want to do. Hubby will not be happy forking out £250 for a course i do nothing with! I cant understand these people who have known what they have wanted to do with their career since they were 15! I think its quite possible that i have changed my mind millions of times since then. How secondary school expect you to make a choice in the last two years that will potentially affect the rest of your life really bothers me. I am still clueless!!!!
Im still debating whether to do my creative writing course, dont get me wrong i love learning and studying, but i want to make sure that it is what i want to do. Hubby will not be happy forking out £250 for a course i do nothing with! I cant understand these people who have known what they have wanted to do with their career since they were 15! I think its quite possible that i have changed my mind millions of times since then. How secondary school expect you to make a choice in the last two years that will potentially affect the rest of your life really bothers me. I am still clueless!!!!
Newbie!!
Ok…..im not old,well,27….but im starting to get stuck in my ways and afraid of trying new things. This maybe a result of being a full time mummy and having baby brain, or it maybe be something that naturally happens to you as you get old. However, i have decided not to fall victim to this trend and try to cling to every thread, no matter how small, to stay hip, with it and up-to-date.(god, even that sounds like something my mother would say…..Do people even use the word ‘hip’ today?) So here is my blog! It maybe interesting to some, or something some will use as an remedy for insomia, either way its a way of me getting my feelings out there and a way for me to try and keep up with times.
Im also taking this as an oppotunity to polish my writting skills, I have always loved books and writing them would be dream come true. As i mentioned before though, i am a full time stay at home mum, so time and alertness are hard to come by. This is my starting point, otherwise i will never do it. Then i would end up going back to a horrid desk job taking orders from some complete idiot and wondering why i never bothered to do what i really wanted to do.(plus there is a tiny part of me that really wants to prove my ex wrong….patronizing moron…..is that bad??)
Im also taking this as an oppotunity to polish my writting skills, I have always loved books and writing them would be dream come true. As i mentioned before though, i am a full time stay at home mum, so time and alertness are hard to come by. This is my starting point, otherwise i will never do it. Then i would end up going back to a horrid desk job taking orders from some complete idiot and wondering why i never bothered to do what i really wanted to do.(plus there is a tiny part of me that really wants to prove my ex wrong….patronizing moron…..is that bad??)
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